How do you control jealousy?

[Monmyhand]

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I understand you bro... Wha you can do is to trust her more...

Ngano kamo paman ug kaya man diay niya nga ilisan ka?

Ayaw lang i-pollute imo mind if naa kay makita thru FB nga suod niya or naay mo-comment... Express that you're jealous kay ganahan man pud mi ana panagsa coz it shows love jud mi nimo...pero ayaw lang sad pangaway diretso.. I-sugar coat gud para mas ma-express nimo nga hadlok lang ka mawala siya nimo.

mao gyud na i hate about myself sis.

i know what i do is hurting her.. hurting me too.. and yet despite being consciously aware of that.. i am weak to suppress it.

i am so insecure.. and i hate it.

you hit it right on the head with your statement sis.. i feel like a fool that i am..

[beyee]

That's totally common for LDR TS coz you are not physically together so you can't help but feel so "insecure"...
however this won't get out of hand unless you really nurture these idle and ill feelings.

Instead of getting into petty fights, why not catch up with each other's lives through questions BUT
make sure this wouldn't lead to malicious "probing" that would result to your endless arguments na pod.

Go into worthwhile hobbies to make you busy and get your mind off from your present LDR situation that
way you'll grow and have a separate life from your partner. I guess this is a common factor in any given
relationships to go stale and awry since we love too much and never want to let go of each other so we
tend to keep ourselves from people and other separate hobbies...

the result: "mapol-an mo duha sa inyo mga dagway" hehehe

[Monmyhand]

trust dapat...

we've been through a lot.. yes naa man trust.

usahay.. selos wins..

resulta.. away ug lalis.. ug more tears..

[Monmyhand]

That's totally common for LDR TS coz you are not physically together so you can't help but feel so "insecure"...
however this won't get out of hand unless you really nurture these idle and ill feelings.

Instead of getting into petty fights, why not catch up with each other's lives through questions BUT
make sure this wouldn't lead to malicious "probing" that would result to your endless arguments na pod.

Go into worthwhile hobbies to make you busy and get your mind off from your present LDR situation that
way you'll grow and have a separate life from your partner. I guess this is a common factor in any given
relationships to go stale and awry since we love too much and never want to let go of each other so we
tend to keep ourselves from people and other separate hobbies...

the result: "mapol-an mo duha sa inyo mga dagway" hehehe

this may sound like an overused cliche but the honest truth is.. this is the very first time i am in love!

love in the very essence of that sacred word... i dont know what it means but yes.. we call it love of lifetimes..

thanks for the suggestion of taking up worthwhile hobbies..

she is in fact my hobby .. i try to do a charcoal portrait of mai lov..

i hope dili muabot sa stage that the relationship will go stale and awry.. yes we love each other much..

[beyee]

sorry to break it to you ha,
don't wanna rain on your parade but
if you let your jealousy and insecurities
rule over your mind and emotions, it's
not love anymore... it's more like OBSESSION
and this isn't healthy for you both...

so hinay2x lang okies?

[Monmyhand]

sorry to break it to you ha,
don't wanna rain on your parade but
if you let your jealousy and insecurities
rule over your mind and emotions, it's
not love anymore... it's more like OBSESSION
and this isn't healthy for you both...

so hinay2x lang okies?

yes i understand it is not healthy anymore..

and it is hurting big time..

i am trying to control it but i have not been very successful yet..

thank you sis..

[beyee]

no problem TS... it's not easy to control such emotion
when it's already in your system... this is just a simple
tip from experience..

If the green-eyed monster starts to lurk in me, I'd stop
and think will it ever do good to me and my bf? is my
jealous rant really worth the pain i am about to give to
him and to myself? then later on, I'd cast away all the
doubts and simply turn it into something positive...

[Githyanki]

Is this feeling just one way? I need help.. yes i admit that. Can I control and suppress this by my myself alone?

Find the cause of your jealousy. Dig deep and look hard. The obvious answer is rarely the main cause. Be it insecurity, past experience, family problems, cultural/religious difference, etc... You need to fully understand first why you are jealous before being able to confront it.

I do hope this helps. I've been there, as you, TS. It takes courage to look at our own faults and learn from it..

[Monmyhand]

Find the cause of your jealousy. Dig deep and look hard. The obvious answer is rarely the main cause. Be it insecurity, past experience, family problems, cultural/religious difference, etc... You need to fully understand first why you are jealous before being able to confront it.

I do hope this helps. I've been there, as you, TS. It takes courage to look at our own faults and learn from it..

how do i search and find the cause?

i understand your point.. breaking the problem apart and the solution lies in the cause.. but what is the cause of selos?

[Monmyhand]

no problem TS... it's not easy to control such emotion
when it's already in your system... this is just a simple
tip from experience..

If the green-eyed monster starts to lurk in me, I'd stop
and think will it ever do good to me and my bf? is my
jealous rant really worth the pain i am about to give to
him and to myself? then later on, I'd cast away all the
doubts and simply turn it into something positive...

when the green monster starts to awaken..
sooner rather than later..
it takes over..
and i lose control..

words that never really mean anything get uttered..
they dont mean nothing, but they hurt big just the same..

drowning in tears, i feel so much unworthy of her
loving her yet hurling those selos words..
like lances and spears of burning hot accusations

i feel unworthy professing a love..
and yet i hurt with the same love..